Imitation Black
by Pikori-Chan
Summary: My perspective of the song. At 14 years old Len is a very confused child deeply in love with his fiance' Mikuo Hatsune. But will Legalities or their families let them be together in peace? Without his mother's protection what will he choose? M for safety
1. Leah Kagamine

My birth name is Leah Kagamine. I was born into a noble family that is well respected in Japan. The Kagamine family and the Hatsune family have had this plan since long before I was born to join the two families together, merging them would do them both good for wealth, publicity, and respect.

I am fourteen years of age. My current residence is in one of our summer mansions near the sea. It was the early evening and I was taking my bath, to gather my thoughts and to stall so that I wouldn't have to go downstairs to our event that father had set up for me and my fiance'.

Mikuo Hatsune. Seventeen years of age.

We have been engaged before either of us were born. And we never had a problem with it. I love him deeply and he says he loves me..I unfortunatlly doubt him sometimes and I'm ashamed to admit that. But our love will never be legit. Because there is just one problem.

My name, the name my mother called me in private, is Len Kagamine. And I am a male born child.

The Hatsune's and the Kagamine's have wanted to join the families for years but both had only beared male children. That's when our fathers had come up with the best scheme. Raise one to be a lady.

I have never worn trousers in my life. Always dresses or skirts. Never any male undergarments, appropriate panties and A cup bra's were given to me to wear. Even coursets to give me a more feminine figure. I was to be raised and treated like a lady. My mother had always disapproved and tried to give me as much of a male identity as she could. But in the end: She had no say in my up bringing.

There was a knock on my bathroom door. A strong male voice speaking to me through the mahogany wood. "Are you finished bathing, princess?"

"..I am."

The door would open slowly, two young gentlemen walking in. One would have short, dark blue hair. He had black dress trousers and shoes, a white shirt and black jacket, a lolita esque top hat with a red ribbon on the side of his head. He walked over to me, carrying a towel on his arm. I stood up from the suds and water and he wrapped the towel around me, lifting me from the tub and setting me on the floor. The other gentleman bent down on the floor. He was dressed similarly, the sides of his coat pushed aside partially, his suspenders showing. He had long lavender hair, a large lock of it tied into a ponytail. He lifted each of my feet, one at a time to slide them into my house slippers. The three of us stepped out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. These two young men were Kaito Shion and Gakupo Kamui. My faithful servants and friends. I never had nannies or maids. These two have been with me since I was brought home from the hospital when they were twelve years old. I won't make a move without either of them by my side. I won't eat unless they prepare and serve me my food. I won't dress on my own unless they help me. Without these two..I probably wouldn't survive.

My bedroom had a large queen sized bed drapped in purple, pink and black sheets. Those colors were the basic theme of my room. The bed was surrounded by a screen that reached up towards the ceiling to conceal me from unwanted visitors that drop by from time to time. Kaito and Gakupo's room is attachted to mine. I'm always safe. No matter what. The rest of the room was in a gothic-lolita style. I had dark purple walls, three chairs around a small round table with a black tea set trimmed in pink on top of the table cloth. I had no pictures hanging or standing. No decorations. What was the point?

Kaito took his time to dry the water droplets off of my body as Gakupo stepped over to my large wardrobe. He pulled out one of my most prefered dresses. The black and white one with the red rose in the center of the chest. The straps hung off of my shoulders and the front of the dress only went down to mid thigh on me, the back fell down like a train and just stopped before it hit the floor. Kaito removed the towel, folded it and set it down on the chair. He slid the black with purple laced undergarments onto my body. He took the dress from Gakupo and helped me step into it. He pulled it up and zipped up the back, tieing it with a bow. Gakupo worked on my hair while he did this, brushing out and drying my shoulder length blonde hair. He set it into a small pony tail, having it being held up by a large black bow.

I looked up at Kaito expectantly. He smiled a little and brushed the bangs from my eyes. He then sat down in the chair and pulled me into his lap, his arms wrapped around my waist as Gakupo rolled my stockings up my legs and to my waist, putting my boots on after that. I smiled at him and he smiled back, walking over to my vanity mirror and bringing the eyeshadow and eye liner.

"You're quiet this evening, princess." Kaito stated.

"I am.." My head turned to meet his gaze. "Mikuo..he said he would be here tonight..right..?"

"Please stay still, princess." Gakupo said, turning my head with his hand gently to apply the eye make up.

Kaito laughed a bit, resting his chin on my shoulder. "I should have known. You tend to get quiet when Master Hatsune is attending an event with you."

"I do..I get excited but afraid..I hardly get to seem him, yet..when I do I'm afraid he will scold me for not contacting him at all..he is coming, correct?"

"Yes, princess" Kaito smiled. "I believe he is coming. And please do not worry yourself so much. Master Hatsune is a very kind young lad. He could never hate you for that of which is beyond your control."

"Are you ready, princess?" Gakupo stood up and offered his hand. I took a deep breath and nodded, taking his hand and standing up properly. Kaito took my other hand and we headed out the door, leaving the saftey of my bedroom and heading down the hallway. We were to go the grand ball room where father was waiting with his guests. And hopefully..Mikuo was waiting too..

I gripped their hands tightly as we entered the room, they gripped mine back to give me comfort. If I had the choice I wouldn't attend these sort of events. There was a time when I used to be able to. Not anymore..

Kaito and Gakupo escorted me through the mass crowd of people. This was their regular routine. Keep me moving. Keep me away from my father. Because whenever I see him in these events I get in trouble. No matter what I do. I'm always in trouble.

"Leah!"

We stop and turn. He found us. Mr. and Mrs. Hatsune is with him to. They walk over to us and smile. They used to be appauled by Kaito and Gakupo's habit of clinging to me but they over look it now. They've come to terms that I will never cast them from my life, even after I marry. Father walks up to me. I see an irritated twitch in his eye. He never liked the way I dressed. He hid his annoyance with a smile, speaking to me calmly. "Leah, I was just telling Micheal and Mitsuko how you've taken up singing. Why don't you go up and share a song with us."

"I..do not think that would be the best idea, father.." I looked up at my future in-laws. "Did..Mikuo come?"

"Of course he did, dear." Her mother smiled. "He's off mingling, said he was going to find you himself."

"Hm.." I looked down.

"Leah. Go sing a song for us." Father was getting upset with me. I gave in and sighed. "I'll sing, father." Though the songs I have you may not enjoy. I tug on Kaito and Gakupo's hands. They look down at me and nod, turning and leading me over to the main stage where the mini-orchestra would play. Once on the center stage and everyone's attention was brought to me, Kaito and Gakupo left my side though didn't stray far. Gakupo stood off to the side, and Kaito moved to the piano, sitting in the seat and testing out the keys before looking at me for permission to start.

I take a deep breath and look at into the eyes of every person in the sea of people that flooded the room. But none were who I was searching for..I couldn't see him..but I had a feeling he was there..

I close my eyes, my finger twitched to signal Kaito. He saw and began to play the piano intro to one of my most recent songs I had written in my spare time..


	2. The way I feel

_**Forgot to add comments in the first chapter! I'm apologizing for the lack of updates lately. I'm kind of stuck with the second chapter of Trick and Treat and I was almost done with the next Chapter of Alice until half of it was deleted..in denile of writing it again, I'm doing a short story, short chapters, for Imitation Black. I also have a few surprises that will be mentioned at the end of this chapter 3**_

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I take a deep breath and look at into the eyes of every person in the sea of people that flooded the room. But none were who I was searching for..I couldn't see him..but I had a feeling he was there..

I close my eyes, my finger twitched to signal Kaito. He saw and began to play the piano intro to one of my most recent songs I had written in my spare time..

_Twisted reality. Love is a painful mystery. My heart is so insincere.._

_The worlds painted in black. Love is just what my heart lacks. My whole lifes covered in darkness.._

_I've always wanted to tell you 'I love you' There is just one thing that I would like to say: These impulses that run through out my body. Sooner than, you'll just end up broken._

_To love and be loved to the point where I'm losing my mind. This sweet burning kiss that we share is an Imitation. Losing my senses, my conciousness is fading away. These overflowing emotions are making me paint over the world in black._

I open my eyes to look for him again. Nothing. Everyone was watching me. Stage fright begins to build up in my chest. Father looks furious. I look at the floor sadly as the instrumental Kaito played through ended and the next verse started up.

_There isn't a day I'm not thinking of you..The feeling of being held inside of your arms.._

_The hidden beauty of the moon..under the darkness- it looms. As if it's trying to hide away from me._

_To the point of no reaturn..I wish the both of us would just disappear into nothingness.._

_Someday soon I hope I can be by your side. With that promise I'll let go of my hand._

_If this is a love that I can't abide by. Then again you'll just end up broken._

_Tightly and strongly embrace me and never let go. The warmth of our bodies is really an Imitation._

_If there was no sun the love we share would never be done. You'll vanish- Be hidden from my view...please teach me the answer._

_To love and be loved to the point where I'm losing my mind. This sweet burning kiss that we share is an Imitation._

_Losing my senses, my conciousness is fading away. These overflowing emotions are making me paing over the world in black.._

The crowd started clapping, pleased with my performance. If one would call it that. Gakupo and Kaito were suddenly at my sides. They took my hands and lead me off of the stage quickly, heading for the main door. And I knew why. Father excused himself from the Hatsune's presence. Just to come after me again..I wasn't being a proper, happy lady..I was saying my feelings..thats what songs are for, right? I guess not..

We got as far as the staircase. Father took my wrist and yanked me from the saftey of Kaito and Gakupo's grasp. He shoved past them and tightened his grip, pulling me up the stair case. I yelled in pain. Please not another bruise to hide. "Father, it hurts!" I tried to yank away. No use. He dragged me up the stairs and down the hall, Kaito and Gakupo at our heels.

I felt the tears starting to flow from my eyes. "Father, please! I'm sorry!" I didn't know what I was sorry for..but I was..He didn't seem to care though, in fact my pleads only made his anger rage on more. He stopped dead center in the hall and back handed me with his left hand, his wedding ring hitting my eye. My knee's shook as I let out light sobs and held my throbbing eye. He turned and dragged me further down the hall. "I want mother!"

"Your mother is dead!" He opened up my bedroom door and threw me inside onto the floor. The door shut, the light leaving the room. I heard father yelling at Kaito and Gakupo through the door.

"You two are NOT to go in there! She is being punished and will spend the rest of the evening alone!"

"NO!" I crawled to the door and started to pound on it, calling to him through my tears. "Please Father! Don't leave me alone! I can't be alone!"

The only response I heard was his thudding footsteps leaving to return to the party. I collapsed onto the floor and hugged myself. "Please don't leave me alone..somebody..anybody.."

"Princess..we're right here, you're not alone.." Gakupo spoke to me soothingly through the door.

"Please stop crying, princess.." Kaito begged. "A smile suits you better.."

I sobbed again. Yes, they were there..but I was still alone..they weren't in the same room as me.

It seemed like hours had passed since I ad been thrown into my room. I soon felt myself being lifted off of the floor and carried across the room. The person carrying me was deffinatly male..but that sent..that cologne..it was him.."Mikuo.." I muttered under my breath.

Mikuo laughed a bit and layed me down on my bed. "You're pretty sharp, Leah..you can guess who I am even with your teary eyes closed." He turned on my lamp and smiled down at me. The tears flowed out again. I found myself sitting up and hugging him tightly, gripping onto his sweatervest for dear life and crying into his shoulder. He didn't cast me away. He wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me into his lap, holding me close and stroking my hair gently, giving me time to calm down.

"I ruined your vest.." I murmmered to him, lifting my head away to see that my eye make up had run and stained the fabric.

"I don't care." He said with a smile, reaching for a tissue and whiping my eyes. "You're not wearing as much as you usually do. Why is that?"

"Father gets upset with me..he said it makes me look depressed.."

"But you are depressed aren't you?"

"I am.."

Mikuo sighed and smiled "I swear to you, one day I will take you away from this place. I'll make you the happiest person in the world.._Len_"

I froze and he let out a quiet laugh, picking me up in his arms to walk me across the room and set me down in a chair. He brought over a few selected items from my vanity mirror and kneeled down in front of me. "You'll have to excuse me, I'm not as creative as Gakupo with this sort of thing." He brought the eye shadow up to my face and applied it gently. "Say..it's your mothers birthday tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, it is." I looked at him after he pulled the applicator away. "How did you know?"

"Because I love you, and you love your mother. It's my job to know what makes you happy." He set the eyeshadow down and reached for the lipstick. "I was thinking..perhaps I could take you to go see her?"

"You would do that?"

"Of course I would, love. If you give me the chance to do it." He leaned in closely and brushed his lips up against mine lightly. My heart began fluttering, no doubt he could hear it. I melted into the touch of his kiss and moved my lips with his. I was in a daze, completely at his mercy. It's true, I love Mikuo deeply, but I have never gathered up the courage to say it to his face. He had my heart in his hands and could crush me with just a few words if he really wanted to. Like that, my world could end. It was terrifying to know that one person could have that much power over you..but the thought of being controled by someone like him got me excited. Mikuo has been gentle with me throughout our entire lives, though he could probably get away with treating me with raw torture..I won't lie..I'd let him do it. And I'd probably like it.

Almost as quickly had it had started, the kiss was soon ended. Miku looked up at me with his bright green eyes, his messy turqouise hair framing his face perfectly. He gave me a smile and cupped my cheek with one hand while he carefully applied the lipstick with the other.

"I was thinking early afternoon? I could pick you up in the morning, ride out to see her, even get some lunch afterwards if you want."

"That..would be wonderful." I gave him a small smile. He then stood and took my hand, helping me to my feet.

"No nailpolish?"

"No," I shook my head. "It would take too long to dry."

"Alright, then." Mikuo laced his fingers with mine and we headed to the door. He turned the knob and opened to door. We found Kaito and Gakupo laying on the floor, looking up at us with foolish, amusing expressions on their faces. "Shall we go, then, boys?" He asked.

I looked up at him. "Your sweater.."

"Len..I. Don't. Care." He laughed a bit and lead me down the hall. Kaito and Gakupo in tow. We were going back to the party..I shouldn't be out of my room..I wonder if father would mind if it was Mikuo who took me out..

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**_Kay, so I hope you all enjoy this so far. I've already started on the third chapter, this story is flowing rather quickly. And I apologize for any misspelled words. My spellcheck isn't working for some odd reason. :(_**

**_Now for the surprises! I've actually started writing A Skeleton Life story taking place in WWII but here's the catch: I refuse to post it until Alice or Trick&Treat is finished. This isn't a punishment for all of you, more of motivation to finish a story before adding another for myself. I gurantee that the next Alice Chapter will be posted this month though and Chapter six won't be posted until Chapter 2 of Trick and Treat is up this month or in March. Promise!_**

**_Kay, Ima shut up now. Let me know what you think! I'm quite proud of it so far! _**

**_ ~Pikori_**


	3. Heat of the moment

**_I...really don't have anything to say XD_**

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It didn't look as if anyone had noticed our absence. The ball room was cluttered with people dancing and mingling. The sight of each elegant young woman twirling in their ball gowns captivated me. I was completely drawn to the sight of them. They were truly beautiful, it's a shame that with no matter how many alterations I make to myself I can never resemble such grace and beauty as theirs. No makeup, corsets, or operations will ever change what I am at heart. When it all comes down to it, I will still just be a boy in a dress.

I felt Mikuo's gaze on me. I turned to see his warm smile as he lead me into the crowd. I knew what he wanted..to find his parents to let them know that he had found me. But unfortunately, that would mean facing my own father as well. But Mikuo has always been a proper child that never made his parents worry. I wasn't going to get him in trouble because of my own fears.

I noticed Kaito and Gakupo blending in with the crowd around us, staying at a close distance. We approached our parents. My father's eyes shot daggers into my mind once he saw me. Mitsuko saved me from his temper, speaking to us with a smile. "I see you two found each other quite easily. Oh! Mikuo, your sweater..what happened, dear?"

"Pardon my appearance, mother." He said apologetically then glanced at my father knowingly. "I had found my poor little flower in her room crying. Tomorrow is an emotional day for her after all."

I looked at my father. He was practically frozen in shock, fearful that Mikuo would expose what he really did to me.

"Oh, that's right" Mitsuko said, her husband touching her shoulder in comfort. "I'm sorry, Leah, this must be a hard time for you. Perhaps you should go to your room for now? The party really must be too stressful for you.."

"That's okay, Mrs. Hatsune." I brought up a fake smile. "It wouldn't be fair to the guests if I were to disappear again."

"Such a sweet girl." That's right..Mitsuko is probably one of the few people in our direct families who don't know my true gender. It's probably for her own good. It would probably break her heart to know that her son was in the closet..

"Indeed, she is." Mikuo's hand would reach up and stroke my hair. "If you would please excuse us, I'd like to enjoy the evening with her." His hand drifted back down and held mine as he lead me through the dancing people. He made sure that we were out of sight from our parents before he took my hand in his and placed his other hand on my waist, my free hand resting on his shoulder. Mikuo lead me through the classical dance with ease.

"I can't believe you spoke to my father that way." There was a small laugh in my voice. I was amused by the thought of it, of course but to actually carry out the action..

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Mikuo smiled. "I was perfectly polite with my words. Your father may want to consider that to be a form of a warning, though."

" A warning..?"

"Yes." He would lean in closely and whisper into my ear. "Because even when it doesn't seem like it, I'm always watching..and I'll always know if something happens to you..so if he ever lays a hand on you again, a law suit will be the least of his worries."

I gasped and looked up at him in disbelief. "Mikuo, you're not going to kill him are you..?"

I was given a dumbfounded look before he let out a laugh. "No of course not, don't be ridiculous. I would never kill him. I'm just simply stating that...things happen."

I blinked, softening my gaze and giving him a small smile. "You can be pretty scary, you know that..?"

"I do now. But so long as I'm not scaring you away, I don't mind. It just means I have another way to keep you safe.

I suppose that most average people would be afraid of words such as these, but that particular emotion was now currently the last thing in my mind. The way he said it made me feel secure. Like nothing could ever harm me. Perhaps that, when I'm with him, it's because nothing can touch me. Not even my father. I smiled to him and averted my eyes from his gaze, resting my head on his shoulder for a moment as I took in the scent of his cologne. It was small, meaningful moments with him such as this that made my body hot for his touch. He knew my weaknesses.

And yet even with that knowledge he has yet to go that far with me, though we have gotten close on more than one occasion. I can see it in his eyes sometimes that he wants to touch me in lewd, unmentionable places and yet he stops himself from doing so. He'll get as far as his hand up my dress before excusing himself from the scene, leaving me sexually frustrated. The ending result? I'm still a virgin. And as far as I know, so is he. I believe he is. I hope he is. Not that there is ever anything wrong with being a virgin, what he calls his 'pure flower' . But, let's face it, we all have our weak moments and all we want is those lasting moments of hot passion. But under Mikuo's rule: Not until we're married..

I don't hate him for it. It's a silly reason to hate anyone. But alas, that doesn't ease my tension.

"We've made our appearance." He said. The guests were really only interested in seeing us as couple, if only to start gossip between the families if one of us seemed distant or uneasy. There was actually a rumor last year that I was pregnant. They were all probably disappointed when my torso didn't change in size.

"We have."

"Would you like to make our escape and disappear for a while..? These things truly are rather boring." Brilliant minds think alike, I suppose. In truth, he never liked socializing events. He always had to put on an emotional mask in order to seem interested in the things people had to say while he did his required mingling.

"I think I would enjoy that very much."

Mikuo would glance around before quickly leading me out of the room, giving Gakupo and Kaito the slip. They hated when he did that, I could tell. But they could never say anything about it. At least they don't think they can. I honestly wouldn't mind if they were a bit more relaxed around me but those two are just doing their jobs.

We had snuck off upstairs behind my closed bedroom door. Mikuo stroked my hair gently has my head rested on his shoulders.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love you..?"

I tensed up. There were those dreadful words that put doubt in my heart and mind. Those horrible words that I could never bring myself to say back. "I think it's come up once or twice." Was all I could say.

I heard him chuckle a but, his hand sliding under my chin and lifting my head up slightly so that he could lean his down and press his lips against mine in a deepening kiss.

Instantly melting to his touch my arms had soon wrapped around his neck, his snaked their way around my waist, pulling me closer to his body.

We held each other in our embrace, the passionate kiss continuing on. I was soon laying on my bed with Mikuo pinning me down with his strong, built frame. Before I had been aware of our shift in positions his tongue had slid into my mouth. It had explored every inch inside of the cavern, my own tongue dancing with his in a hot hazy moment of pleasure. I could feel the heat build in both my body and his.

Mikuo had lifted away a bit, the kiss ending for a breath of air. Our faces were red, a look of desire in his eyes stared down at me. The hot breaths of our panting dissolved on each others skin, he brushed the hair out of my eyes before he bent down again. I felt his soft lips begin to kiss and lightly suck the nook of my neck, his tongue occasionally grazing over it, inducing the pleasure even more.

My mind was in a haze, I let out small sounds of approval, my fingers entangling in his hair.

Mikuo's hands slid down the sides of my body, grasping my hips for a moment. His right hand remained firmly in place, his left hand continuing downward to find the hem of my dress. He rubbed my leg eagerly as he glided his hand up my outer thigh.

"mm.." I wasn't able to compose a comprehensible sentence in my mind. I let out a small gasp when he bit my neck. I soon discover it was to distract me while he began his next move on my body.

His enshrouded hand moved slightly to the right, beginning to stroke my hidden regions. I let out a quiet moan, the pleasure was too much to bare. His touch alone made me hard and wanting, longing for him to violate my body even more. His ministrations proceeded as he continued to kiss every sensitive, tender spot on my neck, my racing heart feeling as if it was going to jump out of my body.

"Mikuo.." I moaned out his name, this only seemed to please him more. I finally found strength in my own hands as they reached upwards, tugging at the rim of his trousers lightly before they worked to unbuckle his belt and unfastening them.

Mikuo lifted his head from my neck and smiled down at me, removing both of his hands from my body in order to grasp my wrists and pin them to the bed next to my head on the pillow. I frowned at him, already well aware of what he was most likely going to say next.

"You know we can't go farther than this.."

"Then why did you start in the first place.."

He sighed. "I'm not certain. I suppose I just tend to lose myself when you turn me on." He laughed.

My Cheeks flushed and I looked away. "Speaking so lewdly in front of a lady...can't you lose yourself for a little while longer..?"

"Someday, my flower, I promise." He would lay down next to me and pull me closer, stroking my hair. 'Someday' doesn't help the uncomfortable feeling in my undergarments NOW, though..

"Are you mad at me?" He gave me that charming smile. How could I be mad?

"Maybe." So I decided to tease him..so what..?

"What if I made it up to you during lunch tomorrow?"

I sighed and looked at him. "If you still plan on taking me."

"I do..under one condition."

I gave him a look. His conditions always involved something that irritated me.

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**_Huh..these are getting longer by a few hundred word with each chapter. Oh well! This is being posted after my Alice Chapter 5 so if you don't have an update alert but enjoy the story, go check it out! =D  
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	4. Mother

**_Okay, so I'm just gonna stop making promises since apparently I can't keep them. This was suppose to be published three weeks ago but I had a severe writers block. To make up for that you will have this chapter, the next and possibly even the one after that all at one time. Regardless, the next two chapters will not have a commentary from me. I'm so sorry for this being late, guys!_**

**_As a side and future note. when you see the ** at the beginning of a sentence it means that a flashback has started! =D and when the ** are at the end of a sentence the flashback is over! I hope you guys enjoy this! _**

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I sighed as I stared at the girl in the mirror. She wore a white, short sleeved blouse with a red pleated skirt. White knee high socks and red shoes. In my opinion, she looked terrible. She desperately wished to change but the words of her lover echoed through her mind at the very thought of it.

******"A condition?" I had asked, giving him a curious look.

My Mikuo looked up at me with that charming smile of his, his head resting on my pillow. "Well, to most it would only seem like a simple request but you may take it as a condition."

"Well...what is it?"

He would sit up and brush the hair from my eyes gently with his fingers. " I have only ever seen you in outfits dominated by such dark colors. I would love, even if only once, to see you in something a bit more...brighter"******

I brought myself back to reality. He had given me the option to refuse but this was one of the few things he has ever asked of me. And I can only imagine the smile he would have to see me in this.

So here I stand, staring at this girl in my reflection claiming to be me, with the brighter clothes and the pastel makeup. I suppose from another persons point of view this request, or rather 'condition' would be rather light hearted. Silly, even. But bright colors an I have never really.., for a lack of better words, clicked. Mother had dressed me in white brighter colors she could have when I was a child but I was never happy in them. I feel more comfortable in darker wear, more Gothic-esque in my style.

Maybe that was it. Perhaps Mikuo, even if his own curiosity wanted me in something a bit more lively, also wished to please my mother by wearing something of her own taste. In something she had always wished to see me in. Putting it in those terms, I feel as though I've been a bit more selfish than I should have been with clothing, one of the most inadequate thing one would have to worry about, and rather dense, for not having come up with the idea myself. But then again, Mikuo always has been two steps ahead of everyone else in the world.

Kaito and Gakupo would step into the room, though their own attire hadn't changed.

I looked at them and asked "You're not coming?'

I said those words in fear. I have never gone a day without them in my entire life.

Gakupo gave me a soft smile compared to Kaito's Cheshire like grin. "It was under Master Mikuo's request. We told him we would oblige.

"But," Kaito said. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him/ As much as we trust him, princess, we would never do that to you. We will change and leave after you are gone so you will not recognize us but trust me when I say that we will be there and will not leave you alone"

I let out an audible sigh of relief as Kaito stepped over and lifted me up as if I were a child, balancing me on his hip as he held me in both of his arms.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

Gakupo would pick up my brown shoulder bag from the table. "It has come to our understanding that you will be doing quite a bit of walking today, Princess. We wouldn't want you tiring yourself by going down the stairs."

Walking..? I thought we were just going to see mother. I wonder what Mikuo is planning. "What has he told you?"

Katio smiled. "That is for us to know and you to wait patiently to find out."

I narrowed my eyes, pouting a bit. " Why..?"

"Because," Gakupo started as he opened the door to let us out, closing it behind us as we left down the hall. "It's amusing to see you upset over small secrets like this."

" You two are terrible!" I didn't mean that. They know I didn't. But they were being a bit unfair. I dislike it so when secrets are kept from me. How much of a surprise could it possibly be? Mikuo could normally never keep a secret and always at least told me, even if it was suppose to be kept from me a little while longer. I shook my head and sighed. Nothing can be done, though. I can't force it out of them and Kaito and Gakupo are in amusement. The main point of this..ordeal is that I'm seeing Mikuo outside of a mansion. Out of sight of guests and parents where we can be together without pressure. That's all that matters today.

They had carried me all the way downstairs. We waited by the main doors for the car to pull up. It didn't take long, though I almost didn't recognize the small town car. Normally during events his family attended, they had a limo bring them here. I guess that's only for appearances.

The driver would step out of the car, opening the back drivers side door where Mikuo would step out. He wore casual tan cargos and a green and white stripped collared shirt. His hair was combed into place and his outfit fit his build perfectly. Looking at him alone was breath taking. He would talk to the driver for a second, who nodded and got back into the car. Mikuo looked up and smiled at me, stepping over and bowing politely. "You look beautiful."

I felt the color rise in my cheeks. I gave him a small smile and thanked him. He would take a hold of my hand gently and guide me from Kaito and Gakupo. They watched him lead me to the car and open the door for me. "Thank you, again, for agreeing to this, you two."

Gakupo gave a small smile. "Anything for our Princess's happiness. We expect her home safely, Master Mikuo."

"And that's what you will get." Mikuo would nod kindly and shut my door, walking around and getting in on the other side.

I looked out the window as the car curved around the elegant fountain in our drive way and out the other side. Gakupo and Kaito had nudged each other and returned inside the mansion. As we passed by the trees and the occasional neighboring mansion. I blinked, feeling my hand getting slightly restricted. I looked up. Mikuo sat there, gazing out his own window, holding my hand. He glanced over and noticed my staring. He laughed a little and gave me a smile.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You just..seem so nervous."

"I'm not out of the house on my own often..especially to see mother.."

"You will see your mother. And even be among commoners. But you will not be alone." Mikuo would lift up my hand and brush his lips against it, kissing it lightly. "I will be within range of you, I promise."

"Do you, really?'

He would only give me a small kiss on my lips and rested his forehead against mine. "Would I ever lie to you?"

I stared at his eyes but couldn't help but laugh a bit. "You haven't yet as far as I know."

We both exchanged smiles. I turned to look out the window once again. I wonder how you are, Mother..It's been so long since I've seen your face..About..Seven years, right?

****** I remember twirling around in my mirror in a pretty powder blue dress with white lace. My mother kneeling down behind me with a smile. "I get to meet my husband today, right Mama?"

"Yes, Len, You do" Mother would run a brush through my hair. "Are you excited, sweet heart?"

I had laughed a little, looking up at her with a childish smile. "Am I pretty enough for him?"

"Honey, you're beautiful. Isn't that right, boys?"

Kaito and Gakupo were young boys, becoming men, standing by the wall patiently. They were well dressed lads, though Gakupo's hair wasn't nearly the length as it was now.

"You're quite beautiful, princess." Kaito said with a smile. "Master Hatsune is very fortunate."

Gakupo would chime in. "He could search across the world and never find a girl quite like you."

I giggled and looked up into the mirror again. I had known about the arrangement for a while and was thrilled to get the chance to meet him at last.

There were several small knocks before father had entered my bedroom. He was much happier back then. Not as bitter. "How's my little girl, today?"

"Terrific!" I chirped.

"Leah, you will do this family wonders!"

"Yes.." My mother had agreed somewhat sadly. "You very much will, Leah.."

Mother only called me by that name in front of others. She told me I was special. I was chosen to be a girl in a boys body to pull off a wonderful trick. A wonderful trick indeed. If only I hadn't been so foolish back then I could have figured out what the trick was..to deceive the world of what I am..

My parents left the room ahead of me to go greet the Hatsune's at the door. I walked over to Kaito and Gakupo. The took my hands and smiled to me, opening the door and stepping out of the room, walking me down the hall to the grand stair case. We couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather that day. The sun was shining in through almost all the windows, giving the mansion a wonderful, warm glow.

I heard the new family being greeted and introducing themselves. From behind the banister I stared down at the front greeting area at the young boy with turquoise hair. He whore Khaki school shorts, a white dress shirt with a navy blue sweater and tie. A private school crest on the left side. I had wondered if he liked school. I was home schooled my whole life so I never got to make any friends or see what a school even looks like.

The boys nudged me a little and we walked down the stairs. My hair swayed a little, it had been combed down and a bow to match my dress sat on top of my head. When we reached the bottom of the stairs my husband to be looked at me. Without saying a word he only smiled and bowed.

"Leah," Mother said. "Please greet them properly."

I shook my hands free of Kaito and Gakupo's grasps. I held the side edges of my dress outwards, crossed my feet and bent my knees, leaning forward and bowing my head into a curtsy. "It's very nice to meet you." I blinked as I felt a small soft hand under my chin, lifting my head up and I met the boys' gaze. He looked at me and laughed a little.

"Very nice to meet you as well, Miss Leah. But please look up when addressing me. Your eyes are too beautiful to be hidden with a bow."

I found myself standing up straight with a terrible blush. Foolish me, ended up running to the back door. Though, it was a big room, it took me a little while to get to the necessary door to leave with such short legs. I heard Mikuo ask his mother if he could go play. She agreed and he ran after me. Just as I think Kaito and Gakupo were about to follow, Mother asked them to bring some tea.

I had been attempting to hide in the garden, crouched behind one of the rose bushes. But alas, he had found me. The little boy stared down in slight confusion. I half expected him to yell, but he didn't. He crouched down in front of me and extended his index finger, poking my forehead with it. I blinked and looked up at him. There was an awkward pause before he bluntly said. "Are you a boy?"

The question startled me. How did he know? No one has ever asked that before. I fell back from the fright and landed on my bottom. Mikuo laughed a little and knelt down in front of me, brushing the hair from my eyes.

I felt like I wanted to cry. I looked up at him, afraid to say anything. But I had to know. "Does..does it matter..?"

Mikuo took the time to think before he gave a simple shrug. "Not really. Mother and Father told me that when you love somebody physical appearances shouldn't matter. If that's how you feel then that's how you feel and no one should tell you any different."

My cheeks flushed. "Do..do you love me?"

"I don't know, we just met, silly." He took my hand and helped me to my feet. "But I really like you. And I would love to love you one day. If you let me." He grinned.

I was dumbfounded. As a child, I could really only thing of one proper response. All I could say was "Okay." And give him a smile. He held my hand tightly and lead me back inside. I thought life was going to be perfect after that..******

I've missed you so much, Mother. I hope all of your pain is gone.

The car pulled up to a lovely white, two story home with a large front deck and flower beds up front. Mikuo would open my door for me. I was surprised to see a boquet of light blue roses in his hand.

"Mother's favorite.." I said.

Mikuo smiled down at me, taking my hand and helping me out of the car. "I hope you don't mind that I brought these along. I thought she might enjoy them."

"She'll love them."

The car door closed and Mikuo held my hand as we walked around to the other side of the home. We walked down the concrete path, passing by the beautiful stone statues and decorations. Flowers were spread across the lush, clean cut grass, the lawn in perfect care.

We stopped a few yards from where the back door of the house was. I smiled a little and took the flowers from Mikuo, setting them on the plot of grass that we stood in front of. "Happy Birthday, Mother."

Mikuo wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. I thanked him for bringing me to see her. He said he was more than happy to do it.

As we turned and walked away I saw an older gentlman standing by the back door. I've only met him once or twice but he seemed to have remembered me. I smiled a little and gave him a polite wave. He smiled back and nodded, returning to the inside of his home.

"Who was that?" Mikuo asked.

"A very nice man." I said. "He takes care of my mother now."

Mikuo paused and thought for a moment before smiling down at me. "Well he's very fortunate to have such a lady's company." I laughed a little in agreement.

We returned to the car and backed out of the driveway. As we drove away from that beautiful home we passed a noticable blue sign with purple trim, large gold letters taking up all of its space. I looked at the sign and smiled, uttering the words "I'll be back again next year." So long..

**Oakridge Cemetary.**


	5. Blood Drops

_**Yeah, I lied, I know, not even going to get into details. I'm sorry this is such a short chapter but I really didn't have the heart to make this too gruesome of a chapter..I'm disappointed in myself .-.** **Also, I've noticed some of you have actually taken the time to look me up on Twitter. Thank you? You can still follow if you want but I'll be honest I just post stuff I can't post on Facebook. If you try to find me on Facebook, that is a personal account I probably won't friend you.** **I have also gotten asked if I have a Deviant Art. The answer is yes: PikoriChan and again, being honest: I don't have anything posted yet. I lack a scanner and lost my camera cord but people who follow me apparently enjoy my journals and the pictures I favorite. I have no idea why..they're really not that special. Though I suppose if I had more Fanfiction followers I'd do more on my DA with journals and polls. But whatever.** **Enjoy being creepy and my apologies again. I'm not expecting too many fantastic reviews for this chapter . **_

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Mikuo had his driver drop us off in the middle of town. I'll admit, I was a bit nervous. I haven't been to town in so long. The Mansion was no where near here, being much further up the paved forest road, faraway, where no one would be able to see or hear what goes on there.

We walked around the crowded sidewalks for a while, hand in hand, without so much as a second glance from any of the other people as if they had no idea who we were. Father had always told me that the world knows and loves us, so always demand the up most respect. I am beginning to wonder though, if it really is the whole world or just his world.

We stopped at a nice little cafe. We sat outside at a small round table, having an idle talk about how we were doing. Although, I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. I was much too distracted by the smell of delicious lunches and pastries being made.

I hadn't even realized that Mikuo had stopped talking. During my daze he had been giving me an amused smile. I was brought back to reality, though. I jumped in surprised at the sudden feeling of his hand on my knee. My face reddened in the embarrassment of any passer byer possibly seeing his actions. I gave him a look and spoke in a nervous tone. "What are you doing?"

"Getting your attention." I was answered with a grin.

"But...but what will other people think!"

He would shrug. "Who cares? They can mind their business." his fingers gently rubbed my skin, sending shivers up my body.

"So tell me," he said. "What has you so distracted?"

I shifted a bit and stared down at my reflection in the cup. "The shops. Everything smells so amazing."

"Would you like something?"

"Oh, no! Mikuo, I couldn't possibly ask you for that!"

"Then order me." He grinned and stood up, kissing my forehead. "I'll be right inside. Just stay in view of the window and I can see you, Okay?"

I sighed and smiled. "Alright."

Mikuo vanished through the single door, a bell ringing as he entered.

I sat in silence for a while, tracing the rim of my cup with my finger. I watched my reflection and wandered off into thought, back to Mikuo's request on my outfit. Now that I actually took the time to think about it, it didn't make sense. I wore brighter clothes as a child. Back when mother was alive. He even met me when I was in a blue dress. I'll have to ask him about it later.

As I pondered just exactly how and when I would bring up this question, I felt a small drop land on my head. Water? There was then a small splash in my cup. Oh..it was raining.

People started scrambling for shelter inside of cars and buildings, others put up their umbrellas and continued walking at an eased pace. I however couldn't do either. The cafe was crowded inside and I lacked an umbrella. So I picked up my bag, deciding to stand under the awning.

I closed my eyes and listened to the rain fall. I have always found it relaxing. But within the sounds of the downpour I heard what sounded like some sort of crying. I hesitated before I began to follow the sound. I'll be back before Mikuo notices.

I was lead to a darkened ally. The sound was clear now. It was a cat. The poor thing, I couldn't leave it out here. Ignoring the increasing sinking feeling in my stomach I walked down the ally, searching behind and under garbage, uttering "Here kitty, kitty." under my breath.

Pushing a can of trash aside I finally found the little guy. A gray tortoise shell cat, so small and thing and dripping with rain. The shivering creature looked up at me in hope and continued his desperate mewls for help.

I pulled a dry scarf out of my bag and wrapped him up in it, keeping him close to my body for a few moments while I pet his head. He licked my hand in thanks and I placed him in the shoulder bag. I stood up. That's when I heard such a horrible voice.

"Look what we have here, boys. A cute little cat has lost her way"

I turned to meet the gazes of the men behind me, a look of terror spreading across my face. The ally was dimmed and the pouring rain made it hard to see. Just as I was about to turn and leave I felt a pair of hands on my hips. I froze in fear. Even the thought of having one of them approach me was imberrible, but this one was touching me. "Where do you think you're going, sweetheart?" the man said as he pinned me against the wall. "We're just getting started."

My voice was caught in my throat. My emotions were making my mind clouded. I felt my tears begin to swell up in my eyes and slide down my cheeks, mixing with the rain. "Geez, is this bitch crying?" He turned me around and shoved me against the wall again. I broke down into light sobs. "Let her cry!" Another said. I could practically hear the grin in his voice. "I think it's sexy."

The cold hands moved up my skirt, grabbing at my rear. No. I can't do this. I won't be a victim. With every ounce of will power I let out an echoing scream. "Somebody help! Miku-" I was cut off with a throbbing pain in my jaw, a palled hand having connected with my face, a scrape from the wall now on my upper cheek. I was flipped over again, cold, clammy hands tightly wrapping around my neck as I met the crazed yellow eyes of my attacker glaring down at me. "Shut up!" He yelled, tightening his grip.

My breathwas cut short and I started to get dizzy. This couldn't happen, I had to stay awake! I brought up my shaking hands, digging my nails into his flesh in attempt to make him draw back. It was no use. The smell of alcohol on his breath made me nausiated and I was losing consiousness quickly, my strength going with it.

Blackness started to take up my whole world. All of my pain and fear started slipping away.

Mikuo's voice echoed in my mind, frantically calling my name. I wanted to call to him, reach out to him, be back in his arms where it was safe.

"Who the hell are you guys!" A man had shouted. "Get the fuck out of here, this is none of your business!"

The last thing I heard were gun shots unleashing in a heated frenzy from their barreled homes. Before I know it, I was stolen by the darkness. It's okay. I felt safer there.

It wouldn't be so bad to just sleep for a while..


	6. Self Confrontation

**_Yay..more excuses. In order of what has happened to me since the last chapter: Finals existed in my life. My family and I were evicted from our house. We had to find a new place to live. We had to pack our house. I had to finish sewing and packing for my Colossalcon trip to Sandusky with ChibiGremlin and our friends. Spent the weekend at con. Came home DURING the Move. Went to Court. Finished Moving into the new house. Finished Cleaning the old house. Had to scrap my car for money and my brother is coming home for a two week leave from Afghanistan tomorrow._**

**_ Sorry guys, I'm really not trying to leave you hanging but hopefully this..probably being the longest chapter I've ever written, will make up for it! I've already started on the next chapter and for those of you reading my Alice Human Sacrifice- Don't give up on me. I AM working on it, just twisting around the story is a lot harder than you'd think. It will be updated, please believe me . Anyways, enjoy!_**

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It seems so relaxing. I don't know where I am or if I am with anybody but..

Everything just disappeared. All of the sadness, the panic, the fear, the worry of what was, what is, what is going to be and what could have been. All of it. Just..gone.

But it feels like I'm missing something. Something important. I wonder what it is? Oh well. I must not have been that important if I can't remember.

Speaking of remembering, what's my name? Do I even have one? I guess I don't need it.

How about company? Perhaps I should go and find someone to..converse with! Oh..but there is probably a reason I'm alone right now. But why? Maybe I did something bad. I guess nobody cares about me.

Ow. Why did that thought hurt so much? Like some sort of..stabbing feeling in my chest. It's probably nothing.

I sat up and took a deep breath. I opened my eyes and..black Nothing but black. It looks like it should be dark, but it's not. I can clearly see in front of me!...If there was anything to see at all.

Well, looking down, I can see that I have pale skin. That's a start. What else? My feet seemed bound but I can wiggle my toes in a free sort of manner. The bindings feel like there is a base and circling straps. I must be wearing sandals.

I laughed a little. This was kind of fun! I tugged on the shirt I wore and stretched it out a bit to get a better look at it. The perfect pale shade of blue. Not too light, not too dark and..drawstrings?..I must have a hood!

And I wear a hood on my head..my head! Oh gods, do I have hair! I hope I'm not bald!

My hands rushed up to the top of my head, I sighed in relief when I felt the soft mess. That was nerve racking.

I stood up and looked around. This was great, but I still don't know what I look like. Not really anyways.

Lets see... I don't know where I am, so I imagine that it would be quite dificult to find a mirror here. Better start anyways. I turned and began my walk. As I casually started through the black nonsense that surrounded me, the only noise being the echoing claps of my footsteps, I tried picturing what sort of mirror I would find here. Would it be small and sit on a table? Or maybe hang on the wall? Would it have a simple colored frame of wood or plastic? And what of its shape? Square, or round?

After putting some thought into it, a very clear image of a mirror formed in my mind. It seemed some what familiar to me. The glass was tall and a bit wide, in the shape of a rectangle. The frame looked to be cold and made of a strong metal, brass, if I recall correctly. The color was black and it hade fancy metal vines and roses around it, the petals having a tint of red. The mirror itself leaned back slightly on a stand to keep it up. Its strange, I remember it so clearly. Where have I seen it before?

Just as this question crept into my mind, I hit a solid mass and fell back onto the..floor? I shook my head and noticed a blond haired boy with dark blue eyes and looked to be just as confused as I was. I stood up. So did he. I waved. He waved back. Both of us stepped back and examined the area around each other.

This was it. This is the exact mirror I had just picture in my mind. Amazing, how did this happen? The boy and I stepped closer to the mirror and with a grin made faces at each other. We laughed, then I stared at him with a smile. He stared back at me, although, he seemed upset.

"Why are you crying?" I asked. What a silly thing to do, it was just a mirror.

"Because," my reflection started with small sobs. "You don't remember me!" Tears rolled down his cheeks and hit the floor. My cheeks felt wet too. Was I crying as well?

I stared at the boy and thought 'he is me'. I made the decision to ask "How could I possibly forget about myself?

"Don't you dare ask that, Len!" He hissed at me. "What's my name!"

"Your name..?" That thought came back- 'He is me!'

"It's Len" I said.

"Wrong!"

"How am I wrong?"

he glared at me through his tears and took several steps forward. I stepped back. As he stepped out of the mirror and out in front of me, his appearance changed. A large black bow held his hair back in its ponytail. The hoodie and shorts were gone, they were replaced with a beautiful black dress with white trimmings, the back flowing off into a train where as the front cut off rather short. A corset was wrapped tightly around his torso. Above it were yellow ribbons that started at the red rose in the center before decoratively wrapping around his shoulders. The outfit tied together with black stockings and knee high boots. He was beautiful and, to be honest, I was a bit jealous.

"You are me" I said, my eyes still wandering his dress. "Wouldn't we have the same name?"

"Exactly." He sat down in a dark purple chair, beginning to spread black paint over his nails. "So here _I_ am, searching for my name from a boy who doesn't even know her _own_ name."

" 'Her'..? But..but I'm not-"

"Yes you are."

"I am..?"

"No."

This was beginning to be more than just a little bit irritating. "Well am I a boy or aren't I?"

"You tell me."

"..I.." I lowered my head. "I don't know..I look like a boy..told to be a girl. Dress like a girl..what am I?"

"We're a gender-queer, I suppose."

"What do you mean? I need to be a boy or a girl."

"No you don't." He sipped on a cup of tea. Where were these items coming from?

"Then what am I!"

"A gender-queer."

"What does that even mean!"

He sighed and set his cup down. "Look, traditionally gender has meant either 'male' or 'female'. Gender is the collection of behaviors, dress, attitudes, etcetera, culturally assigned to people according to their biological sex. However, there is really a range of genders, including male and female, ut also including gender-queer or fender ambiguous, butch, femme, transgender, and many others."

"So that's how it is. Then..what about..um.." I blushed lightly and looked away. She seemed annoyed by this.

"Should it matter?"

"I..I don't know. I feel it shouldn't, but if that is what I am..a gender-queer..then..him.." That name. What is it. I can picture his face. Turquoise hair..green eyes and a beautiful smile. The mirror glowed a bit, the image of the boy becoming clear within it. "Mikuo.." I said breathlessly as I stared at him. "What does that make me..us..? Straight? Gay? What?"

"You're dumb," She said "Would you still love him if he were of a different gender? Female or otherwise?"

"..yes."

"And he feels the same. Welcome to pansexuality."

" 'Pansexuality?' "

"How can we be the same person while you are so dense!"

"Just..tell me, okay!"

"Ugh..All right. The term 'bisexual' implies a sexual attraction towards people whose biological sex is different than and the same as ones own, correct?"

"That sounds right.."

"However, there are more than two genders. Some people do not self-identify as bisexual, finding themselves attracted to people across a spectrum of genders. These people have adopted different terms, including pansexual, a term that can also apply to people whose gender is fluid or who consider themselves gender-queer or genderless."

"And..that's okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" She gave me a curious look. That must have been a silly thing to ask.

"If it was, why was I raised to be what I'm not?"

"Who knows?" She sighed and glanced at the mirror. "Not everyone out there is agreeable to those facts. Why? Do you regret how you were raised?"

"No..I like how I am..how I dress..I don't regret it."

"Hm..then why are you here?"

" 'Here'? I don't even know where 'here' is."

"You're scaring them, you know."

" 'Them'?" She makes no sense..

The image in the mirror changed and a gun shot was heard. In a sky view of a city alleyway there were seven figures. Four were grouped together, moving around vigorously. Two lay near each other, a young girl shrimped near the wall, in the rain, and a man sprawled onto the dirty pavement, a red pool forming beneath him. The last figure stood at the alleys opening, his extended arm slowly lowering down to his side. There was a pause before he ran to the girl, sitting her up and shaking her gently, calling a name. What was it?

Two of the figures ran off screaming, wounded terribly. The remaining two knelt down near the boy who still attempted to awaken the sleeping girl, paying no mind to the blood staining their clothes.

They lifted the girl as a car pulled up in front of the alley. They brought her to the car, the young boy climbed in, the two older men passing her to him. They exchanged another word and shut the door. The car drove off, the two men taking off down the street.

"I remember.."

A voice echoed in our room, calling to someone. "****! ****, wake up!"

Who..?

"****, Come on!"

"Who is he talking about?"

The young girl stood from her chair and stepped over to me. "I will only ask this one last time, Len." her hands raised and rested on my shoulders, shaking me only slightly. "What is my name!"

"Your name..its my name..its.."

"Please, ****! Wake up!"

"It's Leah..It's Leah!"

The calling stopped abruptly and the little furniture that there was slowly vanished from our view. Leah smiled a little and pulled me into a tight embrace. I held her close to me with a small smile. With tears in her eyes, she whispered the words "Wake up" to me, and vanished, leaving me alone in the darkness once again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, taking in what had happened.

Upon opening my eyes, I was greeted with the blinding light of the sun shining through the closed window, and the strong smell of salt.

"Leah!"

"Mikuo.." I managed to utter under my breath. My vision focused on my Turquoise haired angel looking down on me with sad, worried eyes. He pulled me up against his body and stroked my hair. I lay there in his arms, taking in my surroundings. We were inside the town car. I was in the safety of my saviors arms. Nothing could hurt me anymore.

I titled my head inwardly to take in his wonderful sent, only to get that horrible smell that came with the combination of salt and rust. I lifted my head to find out where the smell was coming from so I could perhaps dispose of it. My eyes widened in horror once I had discovered where it was coming from.

Mikuo's eyes never left me. His hand reached up to hold my cheek and turned my head so that I may meet his gaze.

But what I saw was still there.

His shirt, the cuffs of his sleeves, the knees of his trousers, all splattered with blood. Just as I was about to ask of it, Mikuo leaned in to kiss my cheek, murmering the words "It's not mine" into my ear.

It wasn't his. That's a relief. But then..whose was it. I searched for the answer in his eyes, though, he turned away to open up the storage compartment on the floor and pull out a light navy blue jacket. He then pulled me into his lap, so that I was straddling his waist, and began to unbutton my shirt. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and heating them to a bright red color. "What..what are you doing..?" I asked in a nervous tone.

"Hold still" He said. "It's on you too.."

I froze at the thought of it. Someone Else's blood on me? I watched Mikuo as he finished the last of my buttons, his face an adroable shade of pink. Was he embarrassed? There was a long awkward silence before he slid the dirtied blouse from my body, leaving my shoulders and torso bare, aside from the white, laced (Slightly padded..) brazier that covered my chest. The blush that covered Mikuo's face deepened and his eyes began to wander my body.

My own heart began to do flips. The look he had on his face was almost unreadable. He stared at me with such interest and intent. His fingers would occasionally twitch as if resisting the urge for an unheard of action. Just as the heat was making me a bit light headed I felt his hands graze over my shoulders and trail down my arms. I let out a small gasp of surprise and looked down towards his hands as they stopped at my hips, squeezing me with a gentle, yet firm, grip.

"Miku-" My breath caught in my throat when I felt his hands travel up my back, stopping at the clasps of my brazier, his fingers tracing it lightly before he pulled my up against his body once again. My chest rubbed against his while I took in my deep, heated breaths. We were only inches from a kiss. He looked as if he wanted to close the gap so badly. I was so anxious and excited. I even dared to lift a hand of my own and brush his hair back with my finger tips lightly.

"Leah.." He breathed out. It was strange..Mikuo had the sounds of such desire and lust in his voice, it was nothing I had ever heard before..and..I loved it..I shuddered when he spoke my name. All I could force my body to do was lean against him and answer with a simple "Yes..?"

Before he gave me a verbal response I felt the warm fabric of his jacket slide up my arms and rest on my shoulders. He pushed me back slightly, a shaky hand zipping up the front of it. "Not here.." He said. "Not now.."

"..Then when..?"

Mikuo smiled and kissed my cheek. "Probably sooner than you think, my dear.."

My position was involuntarily shifted to where my legs were together on one side and I sat across his lap. His arms wrapped around my waist and held me dearly. I rested my head on his shoulder, my eyes closed. We sat there in silence the ride back to the mansion. Occasionally he would stroke my hair and kiss the top of my head ever so lovingly. If only this feeling could last forever..The feeling of being warm and safe in my fiance's arms. The feeling that we're the only two people left in the whole world and nothing could ever hurt me..hurt us..However, life is never truly like that, is it? There will always be someone lurking in the shadows, waiting to lash out and take me away from him just long enough to hurt me..

It's not even the physical pain I fear anymore..I've come to welcome it. I welcome it because it's the only attention I could ever possibly get from my father these days..And I am a selfish person for ever wanting such pain..Mikuo could never find out..It's my job to, before he notices the truth, wean myself from this longing for attention because it may hurt him the most. My body may go through all sorts of dreadful damage..but the one thing that will always kill me..give me that awful stabbing feeling in my heart..is the look in Mikuo's eyes when he sees that I have been hurt..

Mikuo shook me awake with such care when we pulled up in front of the mansion. There to greet us, to open the door, would be Kaito and Gakupo..I could have sworn I saw them earlier..how did they beat us here..? Or..did they ever leave..? No matter..they're here now, that's all that counts at the moment.

Gakupo reached in and took me away from Mikuo, cradling me against him in a bridle manner. As Mikuo stepped out of the car, Kaito presented him with clean clothes and took my blood stained blouse from him.

"Are you not going home..?" I asked.

"Not for a while." He said, looking at me with soft eyes, filled with concern. "I am staying the night here. I explained to Mother over the phone that you were being rather emotional and that I felt I should look after you until you are well again."

'Rather emotional'? The thought tinted my cheeks with embarrassment. "Your mother must thing I am some sort of basket case."

"Not at all." Mikuo stated with a small laugh. "She finds you rather adorable."

Kaito escorted us through the front door and up the stairs, directing his voice towards me. "Master Mikuo will not be able to stay in your room with you, Princess."

"I'm aware.."

"Fret not." Gakupo chimed in. "We prepared him a room, just across from yours. He won't be too far away."

"Thank you, both..I don't know what I would do without you."

My loyal friends, my brothers, laughed as if fawning over an old memory of me in some ridiculous situation they had to bail me out of. When we had reached our rooms, Mikuo uttered a sweet 'Goodnight' into my ear and kissed my hand before going off into his room. And once in my own, I was set down to sit on my bed as the boys went to get me something to sleep in. Kaito had found a simple pair of pajamas I had had since forever. A purple button up top with poofed sleeves and laced up the front and around the ends of the sleeves themselves, and a matching pair of shorts, the laced elastic stopping above my knee. As they worked to remove my makeup and dress me for bed, I couldn't help but ask them where they had been all day.

"We were..around." Kaito said in a careful tone. "We do have our own lives too, you know."

"You do? Strange, I never see you anywhere else but hovering around over my head." I managed to say with a teasing voice as Gakupo began brushing out my hair.

"It was merely a test" The last of my buttons closed and Kaito took a step back to look at me. "An we failed it miserably. We're not as fast as we used to be."

"Fast enough for what?"

"No need to concern yourself with our matters, Princess." Gakupo said as he kissed my hand. "You must rest, you have had a busy day."

"Alright, Alright.." There was no use arguing with them when I was this tired. I crawled under my blankets and lay down, watching them head towards my door. "Goodnight.."

"Goodnight, Princess." They said, and shut off my light, a small lamp letting off a glow at the other end of the room so that I wasn't completely in the dark.

I let out a sigh and snuggled into my sheets, letting my mind consume itself into the peaceful tranquility of sleep. So much has happened today..I worried everyone..I should be like mother..I'll try to make tomorrow better..

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**_I hope this was satisfactory for you guys! __I apologize AGAIN. I'm not not updating on purpose! I WANT to update! Anyways, I need to go take care of things I have to do. That's right. I woke up this morning and FINISHED THIS CHAPTER before I did ANYTHING ELSE because I LOVE YOU GUYS! _**


	7. Break Check

**_So I spent the entire day yesterday posting on facebook and twitter, poems and complaints about how much I hate writers block. And what do you know? I wake up this morning and was just like "Hey! Ima write this chapter!" and I did! Iunno, I was proud of myself. But I also decided that I'm going to draw a little comic feature writers block and post it on my DA so that will be fun. Anyways, hope you enjoy!_**

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I was awoken from my slumber in the late hours of the evening by the petrifying clash of thunder in the sky. The small lamp in my room flickered on and off. Please don't go out. I beg you, don't go out.

After a moment more of the suspenseful answer of my lamp's will power against the storm. The light went out. Leaving me in the dark.

I didn't scream. I wanted to, but I didn't. It would only alarm the others. I clutched my sheets tight and looked around my room, the lighting casting tormenting shadows of disfigured creatures around my room. It's strange, my fear wasn't of monsters, that would be meticulous. No, it was the fear of being alone. But that doesn't make the shadows any less unpleasant..

What were my options..? There are two doors to take.. One leading to Gakupo and Kaito's bedroom..the other leading out into the hall..Those boys are either dead asleep or not even there. If I choose to go to their room I then risk waking them..or discovering that..I am alone.

The motion is denied. Next option.

Going out into the hall. Maybe it's only my room that went dark. If I could find some room with light in it, I could spend the night in there. But what room will do? I could go to Mikuo's..No. I feel hot and dizzy just thinking about sleeping in his bed. Okay, the kitchen, the library, a guest room? No. Those are absolutely filthy with coupled guests /memories/. What else is there? The sitting room! That would be perfect. Even if the lights are out in that room as well, there is a fire place!

With my mind made up I lifted the covers from my body and shifted off of the side of my bed, sliding on my slippers and tiptoeing across my room at a quickened pace until I exited into the hall.

It was dark out here too. I sighed, taking on the assumption that the entire mansion must be in a black out by now. I shook my head and looked towards the door of my sleeping prince, smiling to myself. "Perhaps another time." I whispered quietly, making my way down the hallway towards the main staircase.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't help but notice the sitting room door opened just a crack, a light glow coming from behind it. Someone must have started the fire already. I crept over to the door and poked my head inside to see a man slouched in the chair facing away from me. I couldn't quite tell who it was. I tottered into the room and over to the chair to find my father passed out with an empty bottle of liquor in his grasp. Oh dear..He shouldn't be sleeping in a chair of all places, he'll be sore in the morning..I gently lay my hands on his fore arm, shaking him slightly. "Father..? Father you shouldn't sleep here. Father..?"

Father grunted and gestured his hand to shoo me away. "Be gone with you, Rebecca!"

I frowned and shook him again. "I'm not Mother. Father please, this is bad for your health."

His eyes half opened and looked up at me with a hateful expression. Before I knew it he had grabbed my wrist and pulled me down onto the floor just as he stood. "I told you to leave me alone, Rebecca!"

"I told you, I'm not Moth-ungh!" A stinging sensation began to spread over my right cheek. Father had struck me. Tears swelled up in my eyes, his grip tightening on my wrist. My lips quivered as I desperately tried to beg some form of sense from my father. "Father, please..I.." I couldn't contain my light sobs.

"Where have you been, you harlot!" He slurred. "Not in bed when I came home, /again!/ Who was it this time!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't lie to me, you bitch!" He struck me again. I felt the sweet taste of blood trickle from my mouth. Father pushed me further onto the floor, taking one of my slippers and beating me with it in a ruthless drunken frenzy. I was defenseless. There was nothing I could do but lay there and cry out in pain each time the rubber sole made contact. This must be my punishment for causing such trouble for everyone earlier. This form of justice will forever be my personal purgatory, for I have failed to ever find a way out.

The shadows flickered behind the door way and light footsteps were heard running off. Servants, possibly. They won't help. They didn't help mother. They won't help me.

Father proceeded to call me every filthy name know to man. I felt the tears drying up. As much as I sobbed and screamed, even my tears were tired of giving me any form of relief.

Within the midst of the screams that filled the room I could make out the door creaking open further. Footsteps wandering in. And the familiar 'click' of weaponry. "Let her go."

Father stopped abruptly, grabbing my hair and pulling me to my feet. My eyes widened to find Mikuo standing at the entrance of the doorway, pointing the pistol, cocked and ready in our direction. He stared at my father in utter hate and disgust, his trigger finger twitching ever so slightly in desperate wishes to set off the gun.

"Let her go. NOW." He said again. The tone in his voice was almost frightening. It was so forceful but I welcomed it all the same.

Father glared at Mikuo, throwing me towards him by my hair. I stumbled and fell onto my kneed in front of him. By this time my body was shaking uncontrollably, I could hardly stand on my own. Mikuo knelt down and wrapped an arm around me, lifting me to my feet with such care and holding me against his body. "Now to deal with him.."

"M-Mikuo, no..!" I managed to speak out. "You..you said you wouldn't kill him..!"

Mikuo looked as if he was thinking things over in his head before finally giving me an answer. "You're right, my love..I did say that..I won't kill him..but as I have said before..things happen.."

My hands clutched Mikuo's shirt and I buried my face into his shoulder. Please let this all be some horrid dream. My father slurred curses as us and stumbled out of the room, rushing to the front door and running off. I could hear a car start through the rumbling thunder and drive away, crashing through the gates and moving down the road.

The gun hit the floor with a thud and Mikuo dropped to the floor, holding me against him tightly. All I could hear him say were whispers of apologies. I couldn't bare say anything to interrupt him. There was nothing to apologize for..it was my own fault..but he wouldn't believe that..

We sat in silence for a while. Nothing going on around us but the flames that danced in it's cage and the rain pouring outside. The rumbling thunder drifting away into the night.

The front doors were pushed closed and locked. Squeaky footsteps came into our direction, stopping at the door. I looked up to see Kaito and Gakupo standing in their daily attire, completely drenched from the showers outside. "Where were you..?" I whispered in question, afraid to pitch my voice a decimal higher.

Kaito shook his head slowly, drops of water falling onto the floor. "Nothing you have to concern yourself with, princess. You're safe now."

"No.." My voice trembled, my body huddled back into Mikuo's arms. "He'll come back.."

Gakupo looked at me with sad eyes and turned his head away. "We will only state this one last time, Princess...That man will not be bothering you anymore.."

"What did you do.."

They never answered me. I don't know if they ever will. Mikuo stood, lifting me in his arms and walked out of the room back to our hallway. Gakupo and Kaito took the time to escort us back. Once in the safety behind my close door they bowed and excused themselves, returning to their own bedroom. Mikuo placed me in my bed and climbed in next to me, pulling the silk covers over us and holding me closely, stroking my hair and kissing my head.

Within the darkness of my room I heard a few quiet familiar 'mews'. Paws scampered around my floor before climbing onto my bed. Prancing over to me, rubbing it's head against my hand would be the small ball of fur that I had met previously. He looked up at me with his big eyes before cuddling up against me, purring as he drifted to sleep.

Mikuo's fingers pet the cat the stroked my cheek. "He needs a mother." He said. I turned my head slightly to tenderly kiss his fingers. "I think I can help with that."

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. A faint alarm went off in my head that somewhere, something bad happened. The last thing I remember, is hearing sirens in the distance.

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_**It's a short chapter, I know, but it's better than nothing. Next one will be longer. Sorry for any spelling mistakes 3**_


	8. Horrid Child

_**I was thinking of doing A Q&A video. (This notice will also be on the next chapter of Imitation Black) Where you guys email me questions and I'll answer them on my Youtube account. The Questions themselves can be about anything, not just my stories but please be reasonable.**_

_**The only way that I will receive your question is that if you email me. When emailing me, if the subject is anything other than my screen name 'PikoriChan' or a title from one of my stories, I will consider it as spam and not answer it. This is a fun little thing I thought I would try, and I'm hoping we can all be mature enough for this so that I can do it again for later stories.**_

_**I look forward to your emails!**_

_**PikoriChan131192 at hotmail dot com!**_

* * *

I hardly know anyone here. I suppose some must have been relatives, although I don't think I have ever officially met any of them. I felt so out of place when it came to attire. They all moaner in their black clothing, Men, women, children. And here I stood, standing at the edge of my fathers grave, dawned in a white, lolita dress, the ruffled layers trimmed with black lace, a corset styled ribbon up the front. Most shot glares at me. I am convinced that those who did not were either to young to understand what had happened, or thought that the droplets sliding down my cheeks were of my own tears and not from the chilling rain.

If that had been their thoughts, it wasn't anymore. The rain ceased its downpour on me, now taking its aim of attack on the umbrella over my head. Mikuo handed me the shield for a moment, only so that he could shrug out of his jacket and drape it onto my shoulders. He then took the umbrella in one hand, and wrapped his other arm around me, keeping me warm and safe within his grasp.

"It was her fault," I heard an older woman say behind me. "Ever since she killed her mother, she's been nothing but a nuisance to him!"

I didn't kill Mother.

"That cat she dragged home must have been the last straw. She damn well knows her father was allergic!"

Father wasn't allergic, Mother was.

"And now the Hatsune's are trying to take her, bless their hearts, but she will only burden that young boy into an early grave!"

Stop talking

"I don't know why they chose her to be his betrothed. She's cheap, nothing but a tramp."

Mikuo squeezed me a little. I'm sorry, Mikuo, I can't ignore it.

"Why did they even keep her? I understand they moarned the loss of her brother but you should get rid of the runt and try again."

What? No..I'm and only child. I never had a brother.

"It's only a matter of time before she kills someone else."

Go away.

"Such a horrid child."

"Be Quiet!"

All eyes turned on to me. I froze in fear, staring at the ground in shock. I can only imagine the awful looks I was recieving.

Mikuo shifted to say something to me, but I tore myself from his grip and ran away, the jacket flying off and landing in the puddles I left behind.

Oh, there you are tears. I was starting to wonder if you had abandoned me again. Thank you for the company. But you see, since its also raining, you're blinding me vision. I cannot even tell where I am going. Did I even have a destination?

I stopped under the shelter of a bus stop, drying my eyes to see exactly where I was. I looked upat the streets signs. Benzene Boulevard and Fire Flower Avenue. I remember this place.

I was nine years old. Father didn't want to go visit mother beause of the rain. But I went anyways. She was expecting us, We always visited Mother on Sundays.

I remember wearing the pink raincoat and boots Mother had bought for me before she ahd to go to the hospital. I sat on the bench all by myself, a sense of fear rising within me every time a stranger had passed or glanced my way. The only comfort I could get was from singing.

"Everybody wants ot be a cat, because a cat's the only cat, who nows where it's at. Everybody's pickin' up on that feline beat, 'Cause everything else is obsolete."

I hadn't even oticed that somebody had joined me until he had said something.

"You have a beautiful voice." the boy said as he turned to me. "Tell me, though. Isn't it a bit dangerous for a little girl to be out here by herself, princess?"

I blushed deeply, staring into Mikuo's kind eyes and coy smile. I turned my head away and took a breath. "I can take care of myself."

"Oh, can you? Does that mean that your servants, nor your father, know that you're here?"

I tensed up and glanced at him, pulling my hood onto my head. Even when we were young he read me perfectly. "Is that why you're here? Did they send you?"

Mikuo let out a small laugh and leaned back on the bench. "No, I just happened to have been on a walk."

"I don't believe you. Who likes to walk in the rain?"

He didn't answer me.

"Well," I had started "How do you always know how to find me?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just lucky." He flashed a grin at me. Last time I had seen him, he was missing two of his teeth. Now that I think about it, he was probably wearing a flipper.

After I hadn't spoken for a good few minutes, Mikuo turned his attention to the road. "My sister said that sometimes people like to walk in the rain because no one can tell that they're crying."

I looked at the sidewalk. Mikuo's older sister, Miku, had always been so nice. But she hated all of the formallities of being of nobility. She had these huge, wild dreams of becoming a star. One night, Mikuo went to go get her for dinner and found a note on her bed. She said that she will come back to see him and their parents one day when she's a star. She left earlier that evening in the rain.

My fingers twitched when I decided to make a bold move, to reach out and take his hand. He squeezed it in return and my heart jumped.

We sat in silence for a little while. We could hear the bus approaching from the road.

"Have you hear from her yet?" The bus stopped in front of us and opened its doors.

"No." He said and lead me onto the bus.

We didn't exchange another word during our trip to Kiseki Hospital. We had hardly said anything whe we got there either, other than asking directions to Mother's room. I didn't know the way there myself, I had just followed father.

Mikuo opted to wait in the hall. He didn't feel it would be right to cut in with mine and Mother's time together.

Mother was so excited that I had come to see her. I miss her smile..When I visted her at the Hospital she always read to me. Our favorite book was "The Aristocats." I know, it must seem silly to be read to after a certain age, but I loved her voice. If only I could hear it one last time.. I barely remember what it sounds like. Oh, Mother..

The visit was short. The doctors said that Mother needed her rest. Mikuo attempted to pursuade them to let me stay a bit longer but they wouldn't hear anything of it. Deafeted, Mikuo and I exited the building.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be. Mother will get better any day now, and then she'll be home again." How foolish I was.

"Leah..do you really believe she'll come home..?"

"Sure I do," I said with a frown. "Why wouldn't she..?"

Mikuo sighed. "Because a lady always knows when to take her leave."

He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked slightly ahead, uttering a tune to himself. "Everybody wants to be a cat, because a cats the only cat, who knows where its at, while playin' jazz you always has a Welcome Mat. 'Cause everybody digs a swingin' Cat."

'Because a lady always knows when to take her leave.' I didn't understand what he meant back then. It wasn't until this past year that I did. As a young child, I was so blind. I couldn't realize how ill Mother really was. My mind refused to comprehend that she wasn't coming him. All of this finally clicked when three days later...Mother died.

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**_Short Chapter, But it's better than no Chapter. The Imitation Black Chapters Probably won't be as long anymore but there's only so much information that I can put in to each one. 3 Next chapter soon_**

**_Flipper= The least expensive way of 'fixing' a missing tooth._**

**_Have you guys ever seen those 'inivisoline' commercials? It's pretty much the same concepet. Not quite denchers, just a piece you fit over your real teeth to make sure you have a dazzling smile. Don't hate me, I learned it from watching Toddlers and Tiaras. It's hard NOT to watch it.._**


	9. Rin

**_Haha, I'm back! I'll post excuses just for traditions sake. Had to do stuff for Ceramics class, I'm lazy and failing English because this project is freaking stupid, people seem to want to just exist at my house every weekend and don't leave, got hooked on a new anime, working on costumes for Colossal Con this summer, trying to find a job, not getting any call backs for interviews, making me sad, trying to write Alice Human Sacrifice because the fact that it's not finished is upsetting to me, my brother came home from Afghanistan, I was bored and started drawing chapter covers for this story but now I'm lazy and don't feel like posting them on DeviantArt just yet Skyward sword happened to my life when it came out and now Silent Hill: Homecoming is happening _****_and..yeah.. heh 3_**

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I was awoken with a small shake. I opened my eyes to the greeting of the silloughet of a young man, the sun gleaming behind him. I squinted my eyes and sat up as he spoke. "I have been looking everywhere for you." He said.

Where rwas I? I looked up towards the street signs. Benzene boulevard and FireFlower Avenue. I must have fallen asleep on the bus bench. Mikuo sat beside me, grasping my hand firmly in his. He spoke to me in such a calm, soothing tone, although, I could detect the lingering fear in his voice. "Why did you run off? Why let the false hateful words of an old crone penetrate you?"

"I wanted to walk in the rain" I said.

Mikuo sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, standing me up and escorting me down the street. I remained quiet. I didn't ask where we were going. I would find out soon enough.

We were back at the cemetary. I frowned and looked up at him. "I don't want to be here."

"All of them are gone. Your father is buried. This will be a short visit, I promise. There is someone I think you should meet."

We passed by all of the headstones and grave markers. Some old, Some new. several freshly buried. I could tell by the dirt.

The cemetary is usually so beautiful. Autumn is quickly approaching and then soon will come the snow, hiding this world away for the next few months.

"Did you know that before you, there was someone else I was suppose to marry?" Mikuo asked, breaking the silence.

I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. Why would he tell me that? There must have been a reason I replied with a quiet "No, I did not." Then lowered my gaze to the ground.

"I didn't think you would. There has beeen a lot about your life that has been shielded from you."

"How much do you know..?"

"Almost all of it."

"Do you know of my brother? Did I have a brother?"

Mikuo let out a deep sigh. "No, you never had a brother."

So she was lying.

"But you had a sister."

I shot my head up, staring at him in disbelief. "A what?"

"A sister. You're a twin, Len."

"But..I can't.."

Mikuo lead me onto an unfamilliar path. "When your mother was pregnant, she always dreamed you would be happy and healthy, no matter what your gender. Your father, on the other hand, prayed for a girl to marry off in to my family. When the first sonogram came, they saw that they were blessed with twins. A few doctors visits later and they not only have twins but one of each. A boy and a girl.

When the two of you were born, your sister came out first. The nurses cleaned the both of you up but only gave you back to your mother. They rushed the little girl out before she even saw her."

"What hapened..?"

"She had a very rare condition called 'Ectopia Cordis'. Her heart had developedo n the outside of her body. They had to put her on life support. She had slim chances. There was a story of one other case. A boy. Who lived almost a full life..your sister, however, recieved the short end of the stick. They were able to keep her alive for a few weeks..and then one day, just after your mother and father had gone to see her, she passed away.

They were devestated, of course. But your father pushed hard to move on. He chose to go on with his plan. To marry his daughter away. He raised you like he would have raised your sister. He forced your mother to keep the truth hidden from you. He didn't want you to know in case you ever decided to tell someone."

"I don't understand, Mikuo. Surely someone knows the truth!"

"Anyone who does know, they have agreed to play along and give a blind eye. Others, as far as they are concerned, think that the young girl, Rin Kagamine, taking the name 'Leah' in honor of her brother is still very much alive. And that Len Kagamine was the ill child that passed away."

"But..but I'm right here. Mikuo..I don't understand..my whole life..It's a lie!"

"No, Len..not all of it. Not the love I have for you. Or your mother has for you. Our connection," he touched my cheek. "It's very real. Len, how can I help you understand?"

" was never suppose to know..and you..why do _you_ know?"

"So I could help rotect the secret. I'll always love no matter what but other wouldn't be thrilled if they knew. The most important thing now, Len, is that your father is gone and now you're free to make a choice."

"What choice..?" I asked, looking up at him.

"The choice to continue loving as you have, or to come out and speak the truth to everyone. You do not have to make the choice now, but this window of opportunity is only open for a short while."

I could tell the truth. I have this opportunity to make such a life changing choice. But which will I do? I don't hate this life, it's really all I've ever known.

If I do tell the truth, what will be expected of me then? The public will know I am a boy. I would not be able to marry Mikuo.

We stopped in front of a small grave. It was simply marked 'Kagamine' Not first name, no dates. I suppose they didn't want to force and innocent infant to carry the lie into death as well. This is my older sister. This is Rin. Rin, I wonder how different things would be if you were alive. I wonder if anything would be the same.

Is it nice? Being able to live with mother? To have her hold you, and sing to you? I miss her terribly. But at least now I know that she isn't lonely. Not with you to keep her company.

Mikuo is tugging my arm. I have to go, Rin. But I promise I will visit you again. I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize you were here. So long, for now, Rin. Sweet dreams.

We walked in silence to the cemetary gate where the car was waiting. Once we were inside, I nestled into Mikuo's arms and closed my eyes. I don't want to think about anything else today. I'm too tired. There's so much to do. Flowers for Rin, things to sell, remove and pack. One week to box up the mansion. Mikuo's parents are taking car of our main home up north. But the vacation home is left o me. One week to go through everything in the house.

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_**I take it the email thing isn't working out since It's been empty since I made it. It's gonna stay up though just in case. 3**_


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